Solitude, you visited my life
in my gloomy times
whenever I had chased everyone away.



You invited depression into my heart,
and subsequently, depression fell in love
with my sadness. They got married.
A celebration took place. And since,
I couldn’t let go of my sadness,
they settle in. ( She was everything I had).

So I learned to live with both of them.


But, a year later, they had a child.
They named it insomnia.
This child grew day by day, more and more.
He cried every night, more and more
He disturbed my sleep, so much, so much
until it made my sleep leave my house.


Years later, Insomnia became a teenager:
He joined gangs, became a rebel.
He kicked and punched my eyes
until they became dark, so dark
that I could barely open my eyelids.


I then had no option but to feed him drugs,
to give to him tranquilizers: Yes, tranquilizers!
and to pray that my sleep would come back.


It seemed to work, my sleep
started to visit me, but it was momentarily.
Those drugs were not sufficient
to tranquilize Insomnia
who always ended up chasing
my sleep to the entrance door and out.


Specially, after insomnia spent time with his parents.
Because Depression and my sadness ..
They were too busy discussing their lamentations.
They were too busy sharing their pain
They were too busy to see
that their child had serious problems.


They were clearly a dysfunctional family.
And I tried to ignored them, to not get involved
while every night I contemplated the ceiling of my room
in hope that insomnia would stop crying
and that my sleep would finally come back,
but nothing seemed to work.


Insomnia continued developing
until he became a young adult. I started worrying even more
when Insomnia lost its  control.
I reached a point where I lost my appetite,
and it was until then that I knew that I couldn’t handle the situation
anymore and that it was time to seek professional help.


I only hoped that it was not too late.



Solitude, you thought of me…


You invited depression into my heart
to add other meanings into my life;
to make me see that we are never alone,
that we can always have all sort of companions
in our hearts, in our homes.


We decide who lives in us.


Written by: L.L.


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